Kidnapped by YouTube

[Warning: This is a long one, since the music videos are integral to this piece. I recommend that you read this only if you have some time to spare. I also recommend turning on the subtitles if they are available]

First off: the news

Without all the smoke and mirrors;

With some splendid views

And a bunch of crazy costumes

(You’re on, Deloraine)

We’ll be right back after a message from our sponsors

(Our sponsor is Smear Noff… What were you thinking?)

ZAP! CRACKLE!! BOOM !!!

Oh, where am I? How did I get here?

I’ll just ask that witch hunter there

Or maybe not… I’m wearing cotton

I’m very flammable and probably full of sin

After that, I felt the need

To partake in a magical deed

I swallowed a magical pill

And it didn’t make me ill

I shrunk and I grew a trunk

And ran amok while chasing smoking caterpillars

Until I came across some kind of mushroom

I grew big again

But then

I forgot my name

And then it came

‘Bruno’

Unfortunately, I was still trapped

In Wonderland far below

But then I saw dwarfs wearing safety hats

And said ‘hello’

I suddenly felt the urge to break out in song

But something seemed wrong

My voice… wasn’t as deep as I remembered

And the dwarfs responded with some gibberish

I suppose that it was dwarfish

Or maybe catfish

Just as I was about to respond

A troop (troupe?) of elves appeared

They did not just stand around

They threw me into a magic portal and everything disappeared

When I came to, I found myself in a safe cavern

No… it was Ye Olde Taverne

And outside, there was a violet moon

I nodded along to an old medieval tune

But alas, the Golden Horde soon found me

And carried me away to captivity

Their leader summoned me to give me some advice

And then set me free

I bid my goodbye and left to the nearest port

But I was thrown overboard when I tried to stowaway

I guess that it was just my lot

Since I’ve got no beard

I was so distraught that I stepped into an alternate reality

Where Metallica actually sounded jazzy

I ended up be bop dancing

With a redhead dressed in newfangled technicolor

I didn’t think my back could take the pressure

But apparently there was a puppet master

Pulling my strings

But that didn’t matter

Because

I was now

Comfortably numb

I know that this state won’t last for long

Things will soon get better

Or worse

But that’s not going to last long either

Until eventually something does forever

(I have been finding it hard to do anything. I feel so tired all the time. I think that it’s because I’m getting hardly any deep sleep. I’m dreaming most of the time. I can’t remember any of my dreams but I know that it’s happening… a lot. Scenes last from a few seconds to a few minutes before melding into another, with barely any continuity. I remember that, though I don’t remember the actual dreams. It’s strange how my brain works. I will get down to reading all your wonderful poems and essays tomorrow (probably late afternoon.) Please forgive my tardiness. I feel the need to get into a certain state of mind when reading here, and I require a decent level of alertness. I don’t want to just skim through your posts, though I confess that I have done that a few times… Very few times. Which is why I don’t rush things any more, and take a break when I don’t feel up to it. It’s better this way. This also means that some of your posts get lost in my Reader feed. I can’t think of an optimal solution.

I forgot to explain what this post is. I was trying to psyche myself into becoming more alert by keeping my mind occupied with various things. I tried to paint (my first ever actual painting… I didn’t last fifteen minutes. I restrung and played my guitar… Lasted a little longer. I then ended up taking a trip with Youtube’s ‘recommended’ algorithm. Coupled with writing this, it took me a good two hours. If you like it, I can do more of these. There are a lot of interesting music videos out there now, and I enjoyed the exploration.

I messed up with the tenses….it happens, even though it shouldn’t. I would try to correct this usually, after noticing it… but not now.)

Bullets (Layered Poetry)

layered poetry explanation

• Greater good
• Often proclaimed
• Excuse for conflict
• Peacekeeping
• To disguise greed
• Man goes to great lengths
• To snatch piggy banks
• Thieves employ guns and explosives
• While wearing a flag
• Jimi Hendrix played
• His machine gun guitar
• Letting loose bullets of integration
• Peace activists held vigil
• On the concert grounds

The Gig

Not my song, my people, or my culture
But this doesn’t stop me from listening to their number
I saw them live, mesmerized by their tunes
By the grit in their voices, by their exotic desert dunes
We are all humans, borders don’t make us…
Conflict, segregation, alienation, it’s all nuts!

(Time out 😔 What people! What culture! We are different but also the same. Differences coming from: Location, prosperity, history, these things aren’t important. It’s the soul… Music can show that! I am going off tangent. I will stop now. The poem isn’t over )

The lady behind me
Couldn’t see the stage
I asked if I should move
She said it was okay

I was in a trance
When I listened to the band
Ignoring everything around
I might have taken in a whiff
Of ganja, coming from somewhere
Tanmay and drugs do not mix well together (There were people smoking at the end of the hall)

I just anchored my senses to the stage
Lived in their beautiful music
For two hours straight
Heard the lady behind tell her friends
That the guy in front of her was weird

I did my best to disappear

When the concert was over

(This can’t go on my other blog. I have written about this band before, on that one. A completely different poem, but the same song. I will post it here, even though I’ve already posted two today.

That lady was the weird one… She poked my back, said I was too tall, and then said it was okay when I asked if she wanted me to move… Or is there something else to it that I did not understand? Who goes around telling strangers that they are too tall? And I’m not too tall! 😤 I admit that my agoraphobia may have made me a tad nervous, but it wasn’t so bad back then.

I messed up and had to edit the hell out of this. Today is a bad day for my writing. I wanted the first line to be like a snobby elitist, cultural supremacist type of thing, and the second one to overturn that attitude through the power of music. I did not pull that off

Honestly, I’m a little confused by this topic. I think it’s more about respecting differences, accommodating them, in such a way that the differences become a part of one wholeness. It is hard to explain… Like putting various different spices together to get that one taste, a collage, I cannot think of any other examples at the moment… I believe that things like music can do that, by showing us both our differences as well as our universality at the same time, and this song did that for me. )

Clearly Loony (With Original[ish] Song)

(Subtitles included)

Moon moon
I’m staring at you
I’m holding a spoon
There’s a cat platoon
Riding a big hot air balloon
While head banging to a tune
Tag
You’re it, Orlando Bloom
Nah
He’s got serious business
At the saloon
With a cartoon tycoon
And Mario’s mushroom
Splat!
Roadrunner has run out of fuel
Don’t know what he’s going to do
They won’t take him at the zoo
There’s much ado
About something

I can’t sing
I can’t dance
Not wearing pants
Can’t go to France

Life’s a breeze
A hurricane
Can’t go out
Am I insane?

I see a cow
Jumping up and down
I see my spoon
Running around town
I see a dog
Laughing at the fun
And an old fiddle
On the rooftop run
I see the moon looking down on me
Touched by madness, I feel carefree
Arts degree
Lost in the sea
Don’t do this at home

Aripiprazole

I’m looking for the exit
I can’t seem to make it
I don’t want to fake it
Will it work if I shake it
I’ll find an oven and bake it
Tonight

(I bit my tongue 😦 😦 I did not plan on making a new song today. I thought I’d play something for fun after I finished practicing, and it just kinda happened. It didn’t take me long either)

Shadow on the Sea (With Original Song)

(With subtitles)

The sea is filled
With good and bad
With more than mortals know

Dance in the waves
Beneath the night
And watch your shadow float

Oh, drowning in darkness
Reach for the hand of dawn

I had a dream
Looked at the sky
And kissed the morning star

I sang a song
And played the flute
But couldn’t heal my scars

Oh, blinded by brightness
Buried in Babylon

I’m here in the spray of the sea
Listening to the sea shells roar
Looking for a way to be free
I can’t find it there on the shore

The ring wraiths haunt
My heart tonight
Their restive horses sound near

A rushing beat
My heart is weak
I wish I could disappear

Oh, what is this madness?
Why can’t they just be gone?

No Sam with me
No Gollum too
Can I throw away the ring?

Waves of fire
And spray of smoke
I can hear Morgoth sing

Oh, drowning in darkness
Search for a brand new song

I’m here in the spray of the sea
Listening to the sea shells roar
Looking for a way to be free
I can’t find it there on the shore

(Yeesh!!! I played the guitar parts over and over again, trying to figure out what was wrong. I finally realized that there is a time lag between my guitar and my laptop… And all this time I thought my timing was off.

My aunt got me a jaw harp from Gettysburg. I finally had the opportunity to use it. I don’t know why that place is famous for jaw harps. Maybe the soldiers played them before battle? It sounded quite nice with the guitar. I restrung my acoustic for this. I think it is my only instrument that doesn’t have a problem with it. Capo on the tenth fret, like Led Zeppelin in The Battle of Evermore… I really like that song. Even stole a line from it. The tune of the verses is also similar. There’s only so much you can do with a capo on the tenth fret.

When I concentrate on pronouncing words clearly, I go off tempo and off tune… I have to find a way to deal with this.

About the song/poem/whatever, most of it has references from ‘The Lord of the Rings,’ by J R R Tolkien. The verse about ‘the morning star,’ and the next one, are based on a Sumerian/Babylonian myth about Inanna and Dimuzi (Ishtar and Tammuz). It is really ancient. Even the Epic of Gilgamesh mentions it.)

Forest War (With Original Song)

Lyrics:

There is panic in the forest
The rabbits are all scared
The lofty oaks are sighing
They know they won’t be spared

The bears have called a council
The leopards are on their way
The white tiger takes the minutes
But he can’t help shake in dismay

The red pandas are still sleeping
The yaks are running wild
The rhinos are still searching
For a place to go and hide

The wolves have betrayed the forest
They have joined their paws with man
They have had it with anarchy
And so they hatched a plan

The alpha’s got big ambitions
The forest is too small
He’s leading all his cousins
He has them in his thrall

His allies are efficient
They do not waste their time
With gun and axe they conquer
His pack is at its prime

They draw up brand new borders
But the trees are now all gone
There is no more forest
The wolves howl till dawn

(I got me some maracas. This song took a while to finish. My stupid classical guitar. I forgot how painful it is to play. The action of the strings is way too high. I don’t want to modify it. I’m scared I’ll spoil it, even though it is a cheap Yamaha. I used it for the first and last verse. I asked someone for constructive feedback. They said I don’t pronounce the lyrics properly, so I’m going to work on that. Tell me if you think the transitions between verses are too abrupt. I thought they were when I listened to it after it was complete, but I didn’t notice it when I was playing…

On the plus side, my voice has improved. After about 8 hours of singing this song(in three sessions, not continuously) it now needs some R&R…

These animals are all found in the Himalayan forests…albeit at different elevations… White Tiger holds some mythical significance as a Guardian)

I’ve got a Carnaticket to Ride (With Song 🎵 🎸🎶)

(Careful adjusting the volume. It starts low but gets louder. I suggest 50%)

They call those hills
The Poisonous Virgin
Sometimes Nature kills
Too quick for the surgeon

I saw her dancing there
Underneath the moon
Golden anklets she did wear
I had to hum a tune

What does she dance for?
Why is her face so sad?
Did she lose her lover to war
This world can be quite mad

Enchanted by the sight
I watched her for hours
She was aware
She had me in her power

With graceful movements
She danced with the shadows
I couldn’t help nod my head
For a moment I forgot my woes

She dissapeared with the dawn
*Poof* into the air
In the sky I saw
A fiery ring there

They call those hills
The Poisonous Virgin
Whenever I go there
Strange things happen

(I don’t know what the lyrics of this song mean, so I wrote this poem to accompany the video link. I took one day for the vocals and another day for the rest. Phew, so tired. This song was written by a king of Travancore long ago. My father’s family were invited by the king to stay in that kingdom many centuries ago. I think it might have been this one’s grand uncle or something, if there is such a thing. Matrilineal succession makes things confusing. Anyway, he gave them land to live in, in Mavelikera. Earlier, this kingdom was known as Ay, and then Venad. I left out the second part of the song. The vocals were too difficult, and I’m scared of mispronouncing them. Those hills on the kingdom’s outskirts were really known as the Poisonous Virgin. Now it’s filled with coffee, rubber and spice estates. There is still quite a bit of jungle left though, and I hope it stays that way. Deforestation is a growing concern)

Cloudy Night (With Song 🎵 🎸 🎶)

Lyrics

Dark sky
Clouds dance with the wind
Fractured light
Moonlit illusion

A shapeshifting fox
Looks up and she cries
The man in the Box
No hope in his eyes
A moment of dissonance
A happy wedding night
A young couple
Turn off the light

There’s magic in the air
Beware wear and tear
Too much of something can be devastating
There’s so many
Hating and baiting
Shaking and breaking
When man was in the making
The earth started quaking

I can’t seem to think
I can’t sleep a wink
Thinking of the missing link
Melting in the sink
Of a murdering maniac
Covering his tracks
Cleaning his axe
Adrenaline to the max
While gorging on snacks

There’s magic in the air
But better beware
There are answers everywhere
But the truth ain’t around here
The moon shines bright
But clouds cover this night
Stray beams of white
Flickering light
Cascading howls
A chorus of dogs
Leashed to the words
Of a loud demagogue
Promising
glory and money
Power and gravy
Fortune and maybe
A little something crazy

The man in the box
He’s got nothing to lose
And the little fox
She’s no longer watching the news
Pariahs and demons don’t fear this night
They’re immune to illusion
The clouds can’t deceive their eyes
That happy young couple
Aren’t really a part of this song
I just mentioned them
When the tune went wrong
There’s magic in the air
But it’s best not to conjure
While the moon’s still hidden
Just watch the clouds saunter

(This is the first song I’ve created with which I’m happy with. It was partly inspired by “Tsuki Sayu Yoru” – Hiromitsu Agatsuma, so I can’t take full credit. I figured out how to shift the pitch on the editing software, so I turned my guitar into a fake bass. My ears need to be retrained. I mispronounced a few words, but after so many takes I’m tired… I decided not to add percussion. I don’t want to ruin it. Please listen 🙂 I rapped this, so you don’t have to listen to my off tune voice. It would take me another day to finish this if I tried to sing it, and would probably be worse.

The last song got a handful of hits, but I messed up with the volume levels on that one. I still haven’t figured out how to adjust all of that. The high frequencies really get distorted. After I export to MP3 the parameters completely change. I don’t know what exactly is happening. I’ll figure it out sooner or later. )

Divinity Lost (With Song)

(If there’s no sound then follow the link to YouTube or view on the blog and not the WordPress Reader.)

Lyrics

I’m walking on and on through hell
Don’t know when I’ll reach the border of the living
Crows for company, and the knell
Of the Bell to keep my steps in proper timing

I’ve tried it all, and I’ve even hung on a tree
Even closed one eye, but I still couldn’t break free
I’ve tried it all, let a bodhi examine me
I turned off all the lights, to help me truly see

Is this the Dark Night of the Soul?
Or am I now damned for knowing all that I know?
Am I now man or just shadow?
Forgotten all joy, remembering only pain

I remember that there was once divinity
I could see it within all of humanity
Kind gestures, an authentic smile, tenacity,
justice, qualities surpassing capacity

Look now as our species thrives
Most try to survive, while the masters whip and drive
I walk past dead fields and arrive
An ocean lies before me, my path goes beneath

(I used a different process for this one. I sang it first and then played my guitar, and percussion last as usual. It made me realize how horribly out of tune my voice is… I blame all the smoking I used to do… I hope this isn’t permanent. I gave up at some points and just whistled… My timing was off … I am only just figuring out how to use the software. Hope you like it.)

March to Hell (With Song)

Lyrics:

{Reform line quick march}

It’s 4pm and we’re marching to hell
I don’t know the person who cast this spell
But there is blood in the air for Johnny Raw
He’s going to war and he’s going to soar
Ivan the Bear’s waiting for my lead
I’m going to give him six to the head
Medals (a)waiting ma’s mantle shelf
Hope she takes care of herself
It’s 4pm and I’m marching proud
Our boots are light, but so fucking loud

Controlled explosions
For maximum profits
The masters of war
Got the world in their pockets
Human lives deconstructed
Lines on a graph
We’ve self destructed

Worship the golden calf
Parting seas with nuclear staff
Evolution Execution
Making money with your blood
Alchemy in every Scud
Pollution Retribution

Johnny’s floating on the sea
He’s lying just beside me
Ivan’s on my other side
I’m thinking of suicide
What the fuck have we done?
Eagles taking one more run
Ma said not to stare at the sun
But she didn’t say nothing about the barrel of my gun

It’s 4pm and the boardroom’s set
The war’s half done, they count the assets
Their target’s not met,  but they don’t sweat
They’ll have one more war by sunset

(I couldn’t stop myself from making another song. The tempo is messed up. I got the marching sound from an online resource. I’m slowly figuring out my mistakes. I don’t have a bass guitar or drum kit, so I’m making do with a tambourine. Don’t have a proper microphone, and the usb feature on my amp records with such low volume. I don’t know how to fix that. If there’s anyone out there using a Boss Katana amplifier and you know how to fix it, then please let me know… 🥺

I record the guitar parts first. I then write the lyrics and umm.. sing (if you can call it that). Then the percussion. Concentrating on the singing while listening to the music is hard, and I don’t have a great voice on top of that. I wonder if I’m doing this all wrong…

This song is about a guy going to war. First he’s all happy and proud, marching to hell and killing demons. He was a cowboy, and doesn’t see himself as a green recruit. Later, he realizes how mistaken he was about everything and considers killing himself… Not a happy song. Maybe I’ll write one of those next… Fingers crossed 🤞)