I have no idea how to take this data. Today, I summoned up some guts and took a look at my old web novel. I wrote it a long time ago. There are so many views and likes but the reviews are horrible! The reviews and bad comments are what made me give up half way. I look back at the story now and cringe inside. It was pretty bad, but not as horrible as they make it out to be, I think. I was trying to subvert some tropes, which did not go down well, maybe. I don’t know…
Statistics
- Total Views :
- 205,781
- Average Views :
- 6,638
- Followers :
- 1,460
- Favorites :
- 259
- Ratings :
- 350
- Pages :
- 339
- Overall Score:
- 4.05/5
Reviews:
1
Story is pretty dumb to me.
OP mc that pretends to be weak so his friends can get proper training. Which is fine and dandy, but why is the action the main focus. Why should I care about any fights when the m.c. can shitstomp everything at a moments notice. Literally zero tension.
Maybe this story would be OK if there was literally any other focus, like, I dunno…. maybe the love interest that his heart yearned for literally millenia. But nah, we get a boring cookie cutter rpg apocalypse that’s not even done well.
Take all those issues combined with the stupid character names, and I’ve gotta bail. I get they’re weirdos from California so it’s believable, but come on.
Best of luck author, to everyone else: avoid this
2
I hate giving this story a low rating, because the idea behind us is fantastic. Yet, the writing is just holding me back from enjoying it.
I’m not claiming to be an amazing 5 star writer, so take my review lightly. This needs a rewrite. There is tension, no character, just names and actions. Fuck, as I wrote this review, I forget the MC’s name, what he even looks like, a single personality trait. Just that he misses his fiancé.
This is by no means a “this story sucks, stop writing” review. Nor a “Dont read this story” review.
If this gets rewritten, I will be on of the first to read it. Trust me, a rewrite will do wonders. My own story needed one, and it is more well received because of it.
Hope you keep being awesome.
3
Just an update, yes the story needs some editing
but i still stand by my review, i meant everything
it’s a fun tale, which will re-earn its five stars in time
budding authors testing their knew skills is not a crime 🙂
I think stuff like this is what this site is all about
it’s so fun and full of heart, the author goes all out
it’s a blend of genres that most people here will love
and its quality of writing is a cut above
The style is really witty, but it doesn’t joke too much
the growth of characters is told with quite a subtle touch
ethics and morality, relationships and more
the story’s fast but these are things it takes time to explore
There’s some POV switches near the end of arc-one
but they add a lot of depth, and I think they’re well done
there’s some stats and blue boxes, used sparingly and well
which help the story flow with all the info that they tell
The story starts within a tower, but there is a ‘bug’
and we’re left with an op mc, who’s strong but not smug
the main cast make some friends and enemies along the way
without spoilers, “solid plot” is all that I can say
Spoiler
The characters are really where this story shines the most
they’re complex and original, not perfect but almost
the lead is deep and interesting, his growth is rewarding
his moral growth keeps his OP-ness from getting boring
The grammar is all good, and small mistakes rarely appear
most of all, it’s smooth and tells the story loud and clear
it’s about as good as you could ask for on this site
rough around the edges but it’s mostly watertight
This tale is like a love-letter to webnovel culture
it hits all the right notes for an epic adventure
it’s still getting started and the author might be new
but it’s so much fun to read, I think you’ll love it too
4
I only got a few chapter in, and have to say this isn’t my cup of tea.
While the character says that so many hours have passed, the reader never gets any real sense of time or flow for the story.
Spoiler
With so much time dilation I understand not having us slog through all of that, but it comes to quickly and easily for the character.
As far as the idea behind the story, it is a good one that has been done before, but not over done. In this case, I think it was just executed with poor pacing and character development. We have very little world building, and at this point I would have welcomed an info dump over having so little of an intro.
Bon seems like a very flat character so far. We know he likes a girl and can do programming of some sort. He seems to have very few emotions except in a couple places. He doesn’t feel strongly enough to really stand out so far, even though he has spent years in this tower already. No character development so far. And don’t get me started on the ghost.
Spoiler
As far as grammar goes, there seems to be few spelling errors even if the prose could use some work. I didn’t get jarred out of the story because too many wrong words or odd phrases were there, which was nice.
It was the characters and development that killed this one for me.
5
For the author’s first, work, it’s actually quite a good attempt and I have read much worse, sadly the world is not fair and this is not being compared to authors’ first-time stories but any in general.
Going through the issues of the story, I have nothing against OP MC’s, it is one of my favorite sub-genres though I felt that it just did not fit the story idea here.
When you read the title of ********* and read the synopsis, you think you’re getting into a story where the main character goes through David and Goliath and beats these incredible bosses with planning and skill. We get some of this but the execution was not there, for the whole title of the story it felt too rushed like these bosses were only minor inconveniences apart from the mangrove one.
Spoiler
Overall, this story is a combination of a few different story types such as the tower and dungeons with a system thrown in. Bon’s original party with Steven had some developments. However, his original friend’s party feels quite flat and just trudging along.
I think the author has something to work with here, as of chapter 29, all the story needs is a slight touchup on personalities, individualism and expanding on Bon’s boss fights, make those harder. Show Bon learning attack patterns of bosses on top of using the environment to his advantage.
When Bon finishes the Alpha test, makes us feel like Bon accomplished the impossible, that he deserves his new powers. The Alpha test is untapped gold for the story, with plenty of ways to expand the universe and give both the readers and Bon a better idea of the different creatures that inhabit it.
While this is only a basic review, I can’t remember any spelling or grammar issues I noticed.
Overall, I enjoyed reading the first 29 chapters that have been released.
Note to the Author: I would recommend giving the story a rewrite once you are more comfortable at writing. As said earlier, it’s not terrible, just unpolished I think.
6
Style: The more I read the more I disliked the story. The story felt poorly written, the pacing was off and overall felt like the author was trying to get through the tower as quickly as possible even if in the process the story as a whole suffered.
Story: The early timeskip seemed to happen too abruptly and skipped over too much at once. For how long the timeskip supposedly lasted the main character seemed fairly unaffected. This story focuses on a main character with a power level high enough that the story needed to be carried by other aspects (which is not a problem in and of itself, I have seen it done well) and they fail to do so. There is no real sense that the main character actually had to work hard to achieve his current power, even if the story occassionally says so. The setting of the story doesn’t really make much sense.
Grammar: Grammar wise I didn’t notice any issues so at least it has that going for it
Characters: The final nail in the coffin and the reason I am writing my first review on this site despite having used it for years. The characters are downright unlikeable. Their interactions are odd, with a weird hostile undertone to most of them. The main character is dull, weird and wishy washy. At times he is very childish and is frankly dumb. The other key characters in the stoy up until this point are just as if not more unlikeable.
Spoiler
7
The first few chapters are honestly pretty bad, essentially just a ton of blue boxes, and completely ignoring the MC’s mental health. However the story improves once Bon reaches the tutorial proper and is able to interact with people. The writing not amazing, but it is good and delivers the dopamine from the MC winning perfectly well.
8
Pretty generic overpowered main male lead dicks around in an extradimensional tower while cookie-cutter characters conflate old fiction with reality. It’s ok for an amateur writer, but it’s not good. The story focuses more on telling rather than showing– leading each chapter to be a samey mess of <intro to floor> <boss status> <description that’s long yet vague> <instant kill> <skill box> <main character hides>.
I think the premise is good, but it falls into the pitfall of overexplaining and overreliance on status boxes. The setup for the protagonist basically nixes the impact of any numberical values for him afterward– making a lot of the content in the following chapters feel superfluous.
9
This feels, very, very similar to a comic called the Latna Saga where the mc was trapped in the tutorial and couldn’t level past level 5 and every time he cleared the tutorial it would reset, eventually the “administrators” fixed his tutorial and he was let out into the world proper to start his adventure for real
10
I just binge-read this story up to chapter 25, and was very impressed with the story so far. The characters are interesting, the story engaging, and there are no major grammar/spelling errors.
Style is where I would say this story is weakest, though even then it isn’t that weak. The story, in a few parts, seems rushed, and we don’t get that much of a description of the powers.
This is perhaps most notable when he first gains the ability to spend Skill Points. We got a whole list of spell names, but no description of what they do. This is, probably, designed to make it easier to pull out the correct spell or ability for the occasion, but it comes across as lazy writing. There does appear to be some thought into what skills are available, but I think that is more an organic list than a hard one.
Still, I would reccomend this novel for an afternoon (or morning in this case) read, and rate it an overall 4.5/5 stars.
Apparently advanced reviews have to be at least 200 words long, so: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.
11
So at the start, like a few others I had a problem with the rapid time skip leveling.
It kind of felt like the author just got tired of that line and wanted to skip forward.
I think that the story has improved as time goes on. (on chapter 31 now).
At least the MC doesn’t have a harem of bimbos following him around! (major bonus there!)
12
Using time dilation to make the MC OP isn’t an original premise, but the author makes his story entertaining. The first “arc” involves Bon experiencing a system glitch and stuck in a boss tower, where he must endure deaths to slowly increase his power. X number of years later, Bon defeats the tower and goes straight to the normal starter tower he should have went in the first place. At this point, the author could have gone in various directions: turn the story into a wish fulfillment where the MC swings his big D around like a champ; go hermit route and seek enlightenment; or pretend to be weak and act normal. The last option is the most challenging, and I’m glad the author took it. The payoff is a highly entertaining story.
That said, I disagree with the prologue, and I feel that it detracts from the overall story.
13
I don’t understand how you can think it’s a good idea to give your character god-like power within a couple chapters, then spend the rest of your “story” doing cliche stupidity, all while hiding his power for some dumb reason. This isn’t a story. There is no conflict, there is no tension, characters are basically nonexistant. Play cookie clicker, you’ll get a more well rounded experience.
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