“Where
Is your stiff upper lip?”
The Englishman asked
I
Touched my face
And discovered
To my horror
That I had
No mouth
Month: October 2022
Phrases in Blue
They say
God helps those who help themselves
But I just really can’t help myself
Can I be rewritten or rebound?
I’m not some dusty book on the shelf
They say
A stitch in time saves nine
I once helped save four by coincidence
Half a stitch, but then my thread was lost
Still, one brief moment of significance
They say
Make hay while the sun shines
But I was always a nocturnal creature
The daywalkers sensed something wrong
And they prescribed me a tranquilizer
They say
Bibbidi-bobbidy-boo
But I lost my magic long ago
I still have a bag of Jack’s beans
But only weeds grow where I sow
They say
A lot of things
Stuff like: cease the day, and life’s a beach
I live inland and can’t sway the heavens
They make me dream of many things out of reach
A Poem for Andrews
Gonna lose my way tomorrow
Gonna take a phone with no charge
Gonna give away my Honda
And board a random river barge
Ain’t been stammering for a while
Ain’t worrying about the tide
Ain’t wondering on what could have been
I don’t feel the need to decide
Don’t sta sta sta sta stammer now
Don’t hear what I don’t wanna say
Don’t choke yourself under a pillow
Every morning the same old day
I dream again of tomorrow
I dream of new things and new ways
I dream of diving into darkness
There’s a path that I wanna blaze
Put on your coat and strap your boots
Why keep dreaming of the same old thing?
Grab your hat and stick, and let’s go
Throw away your Ariadne String
Auguries
As I walked on by the Garden
I came across a soothsayer
Regaling the city’s mayor
With tall tales and savoury snacks
At the corner where children play
A roundabout moved with the breeze
Startling a pair: cats siamese
While the soothsayer read the dust
I strolled on past a frothing lake
Where I found a sad grey old goose
All tied up, so I let it loose
Didn’t know it was inauspicious
I sat down near a marble queen
Unpacking my rice and lentils
While the soothsayer went mental
As the dark clouds slowly vanished
‘Liberté, égalité, fraternité’
The bets are laid, there is gold on the table
The jester gambles it all with a blank cheque
The game first goes badly but he’s so stable
The jester is playing with a loaded deck
The jester is leading a revolution
A ‘peaceful evolution of governance’
The king is heading for his execution
Found guilty of breaking all his covenants
The jester gives himself power and titles
He’s ‘The First Among Equals,’ ‘The Prime Speaker’
Calls his Revolution, ‘The Great Revival’
Forgetting that he was once a Truth Seeker
He burns his colourful hat and melts the bells
The people crown his head with a golden wreath
The decadent court now lie in prison cells
The once glorious king lies six foot beneath
(To the jester, the world that was once a joke
Was now gone forever , leaving only smoke)
Rambling
Misty mountains beyond the rainbow
The girl from Ipanema is walking
On a bridge of light over the snow
Dressed in purple, and black silk stockings
Blue flip flops and a tight red beret
She stops to rest but cannot stay
Misty mountains in the lake
Reflected with the sun and sky
It’s so hard to tell It’s fake
While standing over where it’s dry
The girl on the bridge rambles on
Whistling a song and twirling baton
Misty mountains as far as can see
The air so thin that it’s hard to breathe
She opens a door with magic key
To Moria, where a Balrog sleeps ‘neath
She passes by without a care
Dancing the samba with real flair
In the darkest depths of Mordor
Where even eagles fear to soar
Trapped by Gollum and the Evil One
She fought a great battle and won
Tall and tan, and still looking lovely
She now rambles on towards the sea
The Humble Knight
Covered in metal and proving his mettle
Over animal vegetable mineral
The very model of medieval chivalry,
Civility, etiquette and dare devilry
The paragon of humility
I introduce to you: Sir Lancelot
(I found this video so amusing that I just had to share)
Ping Pong Song
Bouncing on and on like a ping pong ball
From table to paddle then I fall fall fall
To the ground and up again, that’s life s’all
Gravity’s running a racket in the hall
Forsooth, methinks thou must curtsy
To the laws of physics, gramercy
All else wouldst invite controversy
Don’t fly, thou aren’t no birdy
But freedom’s in the sky, don’t cha know
To go wherever I wanna go
To make the clouds my fluffy pillow
And to fly away from all my woe
Blow blow thou winter wind
And put a rest to his fantasy
Keep this mad mad fellow pinned
To the earth and cure his malady
Up, down, bounce bounce bounce
Until I hit the net
‘Game over’ please announce!!!
Oh no, it’s another set