Let me tell you a story that chills
All your marrow- sub zero- with thrills
Of horror, tragedy, love and rage
It all began when I met this sage
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The man told me to walk up a hill
If I wanted to feel fulfilled
This was my way out of despair
He said while giving me a strange stare
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What did he see with his mystical eyes?
I remember thinking ‘fore I said bye
And so did my hard journey begin
I climbed up to atone for my sin
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Up the hill, with the summit in sight
I continued to climb despite the night
With the moonlight as my only guide
I did not for a second break my stride
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Unaware of a presence close to me
None of the night’s horror did I see
Until I reached my destination
Where I witnessed an abomination
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A mass of flesh wriggling on the ground
It was only then that I turned around
My heart stopped beating for a brief moment
Was I doomed to die without atonement?
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A line of skeletons walked up the path
Zombies behind them ready for a bloodbath
Armed with machete and sword, knife and ax
Was this to be my useless life’s climax?
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I was numb with fear when they passed me by
Hell had ascended that night, I don’t know why
Their dead souls chanted to a stone cairn
And an unholy wind made me turn
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My eyes to the quaking burial mound
Then the chant began to change its sound
To something bizarre and infernal
Something ice cold, dark and nocturnal
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I fell to my knees, unable to stand
As the cairn was destroyed by a giant hand
A beautiful woman arose from the debris
“Ah, at last, ” she cried, “At last I am free!”
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The wriggling piece of flesh had transformed
Into the woman within the undead swarm
She looked at me and then laughed with glee
She said, “You came for me, my beloved Dee.”
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I nodded, it was safest to play along
Only then did the undead stop their song
She walked towards me while humming a tune
Looking like a marble statue under the moon
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She towered over me, she was nine feet tall
She smelled of lilac mixed with ethanol
She patted my head and bent to kiss my cheeks
Stopping only when the zombies began to shriek
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“Leave us, ” she roared to her fearsome army
And they vanished just like all my bacardi
Poof, they were gone, with no sign of their existence
What next, I wondered, with no thought of resistance
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Perhaps it was my expression that stopped her caress
She seemed to realize that I was in much distress
“Five thousand years I’ve waited for you, ” she sighed
While wiping the tears away from her big eyes
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“Wait, you’re not him, ” she said
Her face began to turn red
I was now as good as dead
My mind turned blank from the dread
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Her eyes glowed and she began to snarl
She looked like a tree with a two hump gnarl
The veins in her forehead throbbed so rapidly
I could think of only one escape strategy
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I jumped down the hill, the fall lasted so long
I counted time, and realized something was wrong
I landed in my neighbor’s swimming pool
He didn’t mind my presence, he’s really cool
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That night, in my bed, I heard the woman’s voice
“I saved you, my toy, now you have to make a choice”
My fragile psyche couldn’t take it any longer
I went to the sage, asking him to make me stronger
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He wrote me a prescription, aripiprazole twice a day
And she never found me again, now everything’s okay
Bland , boring, tasteless, colorless, odorless, and lifeless
Safe, secure, rational, without crisis and the giantess
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(But she’s still out there somewhere
So venture up the hill If you dare)
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